EXPLORE YOUR SADNESS AND WATCH YOUR LIFE GET BETTER!

Read Nancy's illuminating story.

Nancy, a 55 year-old empty nester, sought professional help to cope with her dark moods, mainly her sadness.  After several months of therapy, Nancy shares an insight with her therapist. "Ignoring sadness doesn’t make it go away. You have to explore why you feel that way, and then find ways to move beyond it.  I tried for so long to suppress my sadness but it didn’t work!” Today Nancy is at peace, unlike a year earlier, before she sought therapy.

Her sadness had started at a young age when she lost her mother to cancer. Nancy never came to terms with the painful emotions surrounding her loss, such as confusion, anger, and above all, sadness. Nancy wondered, “Did I do something wrong? How could she have left me?” Nancy always tried to push the feelings away by staying busy. She married when she was 20, had several children, and always held a full-time job. Once her kids were grown and out of the house, Nancy had a lot more time for her sad feelings to surface. After a while it became almost unbearable to wake up every day feeling such deep sadness. Nancy shares, “I can’t describe what it feels like to wake up knowing that at any time, you can start crying uncontrollably.” This is when Nancy sought professional help.

Through therapy, Nancy discovered she held a subconscious belief that if she were to experience her deep sadness and grief, she would never move beyond that emotional pain. Nancy realized this was not an accurate belief. Nancy shares, “Grieving is normal and necessary when we lose someone dear to us. We feel loss. But you can come to an understanding of how this affected you, and also acceptance of what happened. I’ve learned how resilient I am. I feel much closer to my mom now, even if just in spirit. Now I feel comfortable imagining what she would have been like as a mom. I even imagine telling her jokes, and I pray with her all the time.  In my mind I hug her goodnight every single night! One big lesson I learned is to not force myself to feel happy all the time.”  Nancy exclaims, “Sometimes we have to explore our darkness! It eventually leads us to light!” 

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

• Am I feeling sad, afraid or uncomfortable about something?  

• What may be the issue?

• With whom may I discuss this?  Family? Friend? Therapist?

Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work through your thoughts and feelings, and remember that the human spirit possesses an amazing capacity to work through struggles and move toward light!

Think of a time when you demonstrated resilience, however small. Draw upon this memory for inspiration to keep you going!

Blessings,

Marcie